Have you ever looked at yourself in the mirror and said to yourself “I deserve much more than what I have achieved”? I understand you. It happened to me.
Surely you are a person with great aspirations and you will be with me in that the world is full of opportunities and that if you are able to take advantage of those that touch you, you can go very far.
For you, that may mean having money, a big house, a late-model car € OR having time and freedom of movement € OR dedicating yourself professionally to what you are passionate about € OR getting that job you have long dreamed of.
But if, as has happened to me on several occasions, you think you deserve more than what you have achieved so far, it is likely that the strategy you are using is not working for you at all.
Humans are a social species for a matter of survival. We need others to get ahead. But we are also a selfish species that watches over itself first and leaves others in the background.
This brings us to an uncomfortable truth: people only care to the extent that you contribute.
What does this mean? What if your way of communicating does not take others into account and only takes you into account, it will be very difficult for you to win support.
The key is in what I call “Strategic Empathy.”
– Empathy is the ability to put yourself in the shoes of others to understand them.
– Strategic empathy when communicating your ideas, selling your services, or asking for a salary increase, implies putting yourself in the shoes of the other person in order to adapt your message, take it to their field, and get them to be interested in what you say.
Communication in the professional field seeks to achieve objectives, no matter what you do. Whether you have your own business, want to start a business or your dream is to have a successful professional career working for someone else. Your ability to get support will depend on whether you achieve your goals.
There are three very useful questions that will help you focus your communication on the other person so that they think it is a good idea to listen to you.
The first: Who is that?
It will help you understand the other person to know their level of understanding and speak to them in a way that understands you.
The second: What do you want?
It will help you understand what you want, what interests you, what you aspire to. And when you know this, it is much easier to speak to him in a way that is appealing to him.
The third: How can I help you get there?
It will allow you to clearly see your ability to add value and explain how you can contribute that value better than others.
And this is where the magic of influence begins. When you communicate with others in mind first.
Although we are not fooled. It is strategic for a very simple reason: we want something from the other person. But that is part of the daily professional dynamics; We exchange with each other in order to help each other.
It’s not a good or bad thing, it just is. And when we find out and make peace with it, everything else becomes easier, as long as in your interactions you look for both parties to really win.
Just like your boss pays you a happy salary because you do a good job. It is a matter of reciprocity. If you win, I win and then we will want to continue collaborating. Pure arithmetic …
Think of others, use strategic empathy and you will achieve much better results at work and in life.